So, last blog I spoke about how I have such a supportive group of friends, family, networking individuals, and customers. I also talking about how I have some people who think the only way they can support me is financially and how they feel so badly if they can't afford to (and of course how silly that is because of ALL the different ways you can be supportive).
NOW, we're going to talk about a completely different issue concerning other people in your life - the Unsupportive Group.
In the same way you can be supportive in a plethora of ways, so too are there such a variety of ways to be UNsupportive.
For example: The Passive Aggressive Approach.
For people who don't want to be outright rude and say that they don't agree with your choices in life, especially a career change for something less than traditional... you may or may not experience a fading away of sorts.
In relationships, it's called something like "Ghosting". You just kinda... stop answering phone calls and texts until they get the hint.
So too is it with a friend or family member who has chosen to go a route that you may not agree with. Instead of speaking about it in a calm/collected/respectable way, saying that you may not agree but hope for that person's sake that it works out and that they're happy. A passive-aggressive person will apprach it differently.
I may be something as subtle as commenting on everything else you may post or speak about but then clamming up whenever the topic of your work comes up and if they are directly asked something about it, giving a very vague but pointed comment or suggestion.
Example: *When asked if they will be showing up to a market or show that you are a part of*
"Oh, you know. I think I have something going on then. Sorry."
Or a comment like, "Are you still doing those?"
Or completely ignoring the topic all together and changing the conversation.
Not directly conflictive or coming right out to say that they have a problem with it. But it's all in the tone, and the delivery of the questions or statements.
You know the feeling.
Other ways that people end up not being supportive might be totally innocent and not meant in a malicious way at all but it can become very draining and discouraging:
Giving False Hope
Now this one is tricky and I've been running into it more often as of late. It might be well intentioned on the potentional customer's end and it might be too high of hopes on the creator's end but either way the blend of the two quickly become very toxic on both sides.
Potentional Customer: "Oh my GOD! I love this piece! Listen, I can't afford it right now but I will purchase on Friday when I get paid. Is that ok?"
Creator: "Of course! I will put it on hold for you and here is the direct link for Friday. Thank you so much for loving it!"
Potentional Customer: "Sounds great! Thank you! I can't wait to get it!"
Time goes by and the Potentional Customer never completes the sale. The Creator may or may not contact the Potentional Customer to ask what happened or if they needed more time before they purchase or what have you. The Potentional Customer may or may not reach out and explain what happened or ignore the whole thing altogether.
The point is, saying you would like to do something and passing on that hope the creator and then never following through leaves a lot of uncertainty and self-doubt and hurt feelings.
In the same regard, the potentional customer might feel similarly. Maybe something financially came up and they couldn't swing the cost and are embarassed, maybe they found another gift that was a better fit for who they were looking for and don't know how to go about telling the creator that.
In the littlest voice in your head, you might think that it was all a badly done joke at the creator's expense and they never intended to purchase the item at all.
That last one might sound melodramatic to some who are not in a Creator's position, but trust me, in the moment... anything sounds about right because you don't have the truth to tell yourself.
As I said, the likelihood of someone INTENTIONALLY doing something like that, are very slim. Especially when we are thinking that friends and family make up the majority of our fan base when we're starting such a small business. But those voices are there. They are loud. They are mean.
Most of these issues stem from an inability to understand where the Creator is ; in life, in career, spiritually, mentally, in their hearts and the heavy doubt that rests on our minds constantly.
Will they like it? Will they accept me? Will they support me?
Does it matter if the answers are "No"? Does it mean enough to go back to where we came from and rebury this part of ourselves?
No. In fact, HELL NO.
In fact, all of this unburied might not have enough dirt to rebury with. It's not just a small box that we dug up. It was freaking Pandora's Box.
It's all of what you see and 20x that underneath because creators are icebergs and you're only seeing the top layer of effort, my friends.
So, if you don't support it, if you don't "get it", if you don't want to be in my corner. That's fine. Really, it's okay.
There are plenty of other corners for you to go to, for you to support, for your to be happy in.
But this is my happy.
All I ask is that you respect it. That you love me anyway. That you consider my feelings in this. That you don't ask me to try and rebury myself.
That you be happy for me.
If you've read this far, thank you :)
Love you guys and I'll be talking with you soon,